What we most desire in life is the very thing we most fear--to be completely exposed, wholly known, and truly loved.
There is a very good reason so many people interpret dreams about being naked in front of a crowd as terrifying or nightmarish. We are experts at life's version of hide-and-go-seek. We have been hiding since we left our home in Eden. We hide under layers of clothes, layers of skin, layers of humor and sarcasm, layers of cynicism, and even layers of optimism.
Some people will tell you that they are not ashamed to be physically naked. While that may be true, we must understand the concept of "naked and unashamed" in Genesis 2:25 has just as many implications for the body as it does the soul, which were created as one entity--a person. I would argue that those same people hide behind their physical nakedness. In a sense, they are trying to convey their confidence in themselves by showing confidence in their physical nature. More often than not, they are afraid to let people in to the messiness of their internal lives--secrets, fears, emotions, and scars.
Other people lay bare their emotions and secrets for all to see. They are hiding too. They are so "open" that they never have to risk being truly vulnerable. They tell you just enough so that you never think to ask deeper questions. They tell you everything secretly hoping that you will care enough to stick around. They long for attention in the form of love, but usually only get attention in the form of sympathy.
God is teaching me a lot about my own fears and desires of being known, accepted, and loved. My fears and desires for this unabashed exposure go beyond my relationships with the people in my life; it extends to (and, essentially, begins with) my relationship with God, Himself. It is a hard lesson to learn and embrace. It is probably one that I will be learning for the rest of my life.
He graciously gives us glimpses of this certain future in this lifetime, but the real thing will be oh so GOOD. Revelation 21:3 "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God." What a bright future we have in store for us as the children of God!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Happy Christmas
I turned in my last paper of the semester just yesterday. Now, I'm enjoying my first real day off from school which includes breakfast and a movie with my roommate, Amanda.
We're sitting in our living room watching "The Holiday," which is appropriate considering Christmas is just around the corner. This Christmas seems so surreal, just beyond my reach. It will be the first Christmas that I won't be with my family. It was hard to come to terms with, but I know there is a greater purpose for being here.
"It just doesn't feel like Christmas." Christmas is waking up in layers of sweatshirts and socks. It is opening the door of my room and being greeted by three happy dogs who more than gladly accompany me to the kitchen where I can reliably find my grandmother. It is enjoying an apple turnover and a cup of "cafe au lait" for breakfast and catching a glimpse of a Christmas Day Parade on the television in the living room.
I could go on, but I am realizing that Christmas is much more than that. It's about celebrating the birth of the world's Savior. It's about remembering who we used to be without Him and who we can be with Him. It's a beautiful picture of warmth, love, and hope. I can excitedly look forward to going home one day and celebrating Christ in a way I cannot even begin to imagine.
Thankfully,I can also look forward to going home to Miami in January and seeing my family. It will be oh so sweet! Until then, I will enjoy the time I've been given and, maybe, even experience my first "white Christmas."
Happy Christmas, everyone!
We're sitting in our living room watching "The Holiday," which is appropriate considering Christmas is just around the corner. This Christmas seems so surreal, just beyond my reach. It will be the first Christmas that I won't be with my family. It was hard to come to terms with, but I know there is a greater purpose for being here.
"It just doesn't feel like Christmas." Christmas is waking up in layers of sweatshirts and socks. It is opening the door of my room and being greeted by three happy dogs who more than gladly accompany me to the kitchen where I can reliably find my grandmother. It is enjoying an apple turnover and a cup of "cafe au lait" for breakfast and catching a glimpse of a Christmas Day Parade on the television in the living room.
I could go on, but I am realizing that Christmas is much more than that. It's about celebrating the birth of the world's Savior. It's about remembering who we used to be without Him and who we can be with Him. It's a beautiful picture of warmth, love, and hope. I can excitedly look forward to going home one day and celebrating Christ in a way I cannot even begin to imagine.
Thankfully,I can also look forward to going home to Miami in January and seeing my family. It will be oh so sweet! Until then, I will enjoy the time I've been given and, maybe, even experience my first "white Christmas."
Happy Christmas, everyone!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Time and Words
It's been a while and much has happened since February! I've had time, but few words. Now, I have many words, but little time. So, I'll copy and paste my last RUF newsletter for you to read.
*************************************************************************************
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
-2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight.
My last semester at Kennesaw State was the hardest for many reasons, one of them being that I did not want to leave. What a beautiful gift the Lord has given me—to walk alongside these young women, to cry with them, to laugh with them, to watch them struggle and grow in faith, to learn from them! I love my girls, my sisters in Christ. The tears I shed as I write this are happy and hopeful ones. Oh, joy!
I have finished the race.
And just like that, two years have come and gone. I am sad to report that I was unable to raise the funds necessary to continue working with RUF for a third year, but I take comfort in knowing that this is a part of God’s perfect and wonderful plan. Still, I am leaving RUF with a $3000 deficit. Anything you can give in my name from now on will be used to chip away at this deficit. By all measurable human standards, I should not have been able to raise enough money in my first or second year. THANK YOU for making these past two years a reality! God has been at work through you and me. I eagerly wait to see the ways in which He will continue to use the RUF ministry at KSU.
I have kept the faith.
Now what? Well, I have applied and been accepted to Covenant Theological Seminary in Saint Louis, Missouri. I will start the Masters in Counseling program this August. The lessons I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had during the past couple of years will certainly add to my future education, giving me a frame of reference to think about counseling practices from a Biblical perspective. I don’t know where God will take me after I finish my studies in 2013, but I would love to come back to college ministry. Until then, let’s keep in touch.
*************************************************************************************
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
-2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight.
My last semester at Kennesaw State was the hardest for many reasons, one of them being that I did not want to leave. What a beautiful gift the Lord has given me—to walk alongside these young women, to cry with them, to laugh with them, to watch them struggle and grow in faith, to learn from them! I love my girls, my sisters in Christ. The tears I shed as I write this are happy and hopeful ones. Oh, joy!
I have finished the race.
And just like that, two years have come and gone. I am sad to report that I was unable to raise the funds necessary to continue working with RUF for a third year, but I take comfort in knowing that this is a part of God’s perfect and wonderful plan. Still, I am leaving RUF with a $3000 deficit. Anything you can give in my name from now on will be used to chip away at this deficit. By all measurable human standards, I should not have been able to raise enough money in my first or second year. THANK YOU for making these past two years a reality! God has been at work through you and me. I eagerly wait to see the ways in which He will continue to use the RUF ministry at KSU.
I have kept the faith.
Now what? Well, I have applied and been accepted to Covenant Theological Seminary in Saint Louis, Missouri. I will start the Masters in Counseling program this August. The lessons I’ve learned and the experiences I’ve had during the past couple of years will certainly add to my future education, giving me a frame of reference to think about counseling practices from a Biblical perspective. I don’t know where God will take me after I finish my studies in 2013, but I would love to come back to college ministry. Until then, let’s keep in touch.
Friday, February 26, 2010
My Pappy
Two weeks ago, I lost my grandfather. In a very real sense, I lost the only father I have ever known. He was 80 years old. He lived a good, long life. Of course, we always want more time, one more chance to say "I love you," one more long embrace, a minute to glimpse one more smile. However, if we are honest with ourselves, it would never be quite enough. We would plead for just a bit more.
When I remember him, I am eight years old again. I am walking out of my elementary school. There he is...standing with his legs shoulder-width apart and his hands behind his back. I walk towards him, he takes my bookbag, and we walk together to the bus stop. I run ahead and collect mahogany seeds and store them in my art box. He urges me to continue walking. We are sitting side-by-side on the bus. I link my arm with his and rest my head on his upper arm. He gently wakes me up when we reach home. I groggily get up and we start to walk two blocks home. My eyelids are still heavy, so I tell him that I am going to close my eyes and he has to lead me. I hold his hand and repeatedly ask him if there is anything in front of me. I peek a few times until we get home and the game is over. We shared a similar experience nearly every afternoon after school for several years.
I had nearly twenty-four wonderful years with my "pappy" as I called him, nearly two and a half decades full of memories by which to remember him. I didn't get to say goodbye, but neither did he. We knew we loved each other. That's enough for me because a simple "goodbye" would not have done our relationship justice. I would have pled for just a little bit more.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Growing in Grace
This past weekend was RUF's Winter Conference for all the Georgia schools. We brought 14 students from Kennesaw State down to Forsyth, GA for the weekend. The theme of this year's conference was "Growing in Grace." Worship sessions, prayer, seminars, dodgeball, and a bonfire were among the many activities of the weekend.
I had the privilege of leading a seminar for girls about our body image in light of God's grace. I called it "Mirror, Mirror on the wall." My prayer for my seminar was that the girls would come away from it thinking about the ways in which their body image is or can become an idol. We had two sessions, one Saturday morning and one Saturday evening. Both sessions went well. I wanted to convey the message that obsessing over our looks is our way of showing that we don't believe that we are loved enough, let alone infinitely loved by THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE!! I also wanted to stress that beauty is more than what we look like.
In preparing for this talk, I learned a lot about the ways in which I struggle with finding myself beautiful. The Lord was teaching me, even as I was hearing myself talk. It's a beautiful thing to be able to encourage young women in the freedom the Gospel gives.
Overall, the weekend went well with no major obstacles. i hope that all the students and leaders have gone home encouraged and excited about the lifelong process of growing in grace.
Here's a picture of me and the girls on the night of the bonfire.
I had the privilege of leading a seminar for girls about our body image in light of God's grace. I called it "Mirror, Mirror on the wall." My prayer for my seminar was that the girls would come away from it thinking about the ways in which their body image is or can become an idol. We had two sessions, one Saturday morning and one Saturday evening. Both sessions went well. I wanted to convey the message that obsessing over our looks is our way of showing that we don't believe that we are loved enough, let alone infinitely loved by THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE!! I also wanted to stress that beauty is more than what we look like.
In preparing for this talk, I learned a lot about the ways in which I struggle with finding myself beautiful. The Lord was teaching me, even as I was hearing myself talk. It's a beautiful thing to be able to encourage young women in the freedom the Gospel gives.
Overall, the weekend went well with no major obstacles. i hope that all the students and leaders have gone home encouraged and excited about the lifelong process of growing in grace.
Here's a picture of me and the girls on the night of the bonfire.
Monday, February 1, 2010
RUF and Tumble
I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post an update. These past four weeks have been...I don't think there is one word that can encapsulate my sentiments. How about 4 words...
FAST. I've finally stopped writing 2009-just in time for February to make it's annual debut. The first week of January practically didn't exist because I slept through it. Explanation-I got my wisdom teeth removed. Let's just say that the ability to chew is a blessing! The beginning of each semester is always a fast-paced whirlwind. We plan for the semester, prepare small group materials, meet and pursue new students, and adapt to new schedules.
SORROWFUL. I'm assuming most of you have heard about the earthquakes in Haiti. I have over a dozen close relatives who live in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I used to spend the summers in Haiti with my grandparents when I was younger. The pictures and footage of the devastation in Haiti is hard for anyone to look at. It was especially hard for me to see the, now unrecognizable, places I had been as a child and wonder if my family memebers were buried under the rubble. It was four days before I had news of all my family. No one was seriously hurt. THANK YOU, LORD! About half of them half left the country and come to live with some of us in the U.S. We don't know what God has planned for their lives, but I know that the Lord is in total control over this.
DYNAMIC. As much as I wanted to continue serving at Kennesaw State University, it just wasn't in God's plan for me. Several factors, including difficulty raising support, led me to the decision not to pursue a third year of this wonderful internship. I have already learned so much about ministry and myself and it's not over yet...hopefully. ($5000 in support still needed) I have decided to apply to a few seminaries to get a degree in Biblical counseling. My experience through RUF has confirmed and even intensified my desire to pursue this path. A lot is going to change this year.
EXCITING. At RUF Staff Training, we are told that interns tend to be more fruitful in their second year. I find this to be true of me. I used to dip my toe into the water and test it. Now, I can leap into deeper conversations with girls I have just met. It's liberating for both me and the girls. I'm here for God's kingdom work and it's so exciting to see all that He is doing. I can't wait to tell you more!
FAST. I've finally stopped writing 2009-just in time for February to make it's annual debut. The first week of January practically didn't exist because I slept through it. Explanation-I got my wisdom teeth removed. Let's just say that the ability to chew is a blessing! The beginning of each semester is always a fast-paced whirlwind. We plan for the semester, prepare small group materials, meet and pursue new students, and adapt to new schedules.
SORROWFUL. I'm assuming most of you have heard about the earthquakes in Haiti. I have over a dozen close relatives who live in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I used to spend the summers in Haiti with my grandparents when I was younger. The pictures and footage of the devastation in Haiti is hard for anyone to look at. It was especially hard for me to see the, now unrecognizable, places I had been as a child and wonder if my family memebers were buried under the rubble. It was four days before I had news of all my family. No one was seriously hurt. THANK YOU, LORD! About half of them half left the country and come to live with some of us in the U.S. We don't know what God has planned for their lives, but I know that the Lord is in total control over this.
DYNAMIC. As much as I wanted to continue serving at Kennesaw State University, it just wasn't in God's plan for me. Several factors, including difficulty raising support, led me to the decision not to pursue a third year of this wonderful internship. I have already learned so much about ministry and myself and it's not over yet...hopefully. ($5000 in support still needed) I have decided to apply to a few seminaries to get a degree in Biblical counseling. My experience through RUF has confirmed and even intensified my desire to pursue this path. A lot is going to change this year.
EXCITING. At RUF Staff Training, we are told that interns tend to be more fruitful in their second year. I find this to be true of me. I used to dip my toe into the water and test it. Now, I can leap into deeper conversations with girls I have just met. It's liberating for both me and the girls. I'm here for God's kingdom work and it's so exciting to see all that He is doing. I can't wait to tell you more!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Hello 2010
Dear Friends,
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas celebration with your families and friends! I wish you a happy new year!
As I bid farewell to 2009 and welcome 2010, I want to thank you for your support in getting me this far. Let us remember that every passing moment in our lives is a blessing from the Lord.
Love,
Christina
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas celebration with your families and friends! I wish you a happy new year!
As I bid farewell to 2009 and welcome 2010, I want to thank you for your support in getting me this far. Let us remember that every passing moment in our lives is a blessing from the Lord.
Love,
Christina
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
No News is Good News
I simply cannot watch a newscast without my heart breaking a little each time. I wish I were exaggerating. Crimes are becoming more outrageous and headlines are becoming more ridiculous. Story after story of tragedies and scams bombard my mind. The weather is often the most light-hearted part of the 30-minute segments.
The news leaves me wanting to cry over the sad state of this broken world. The end of the newscast leave you with no hope other than the fact that you can watch it again tomorrow at the same time. The anchors close the show with smiles painted on their face, smiles so deceiving that they almost seem genuine. But how can you genuinely smile after you've just spent the last 30 minutes recounting the worst headlines of the day?
I cannot imagine what it is like to sit there and watch the news without the hope of a future redemption. The truth is that I do not know the meaning of hopeless. After watching the news, that is one thing I can be thankful for.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
*Note that the Biblical meaning of the word hope is not the same as the meaning we ascribe to it today. Check this out--> What is Hope?
The news leaves me wanting to cry over the sad state of this broken world. The end of the newscast leave you with no hope other than the fact that you can watch it again tomorrow at the same time. The anchors close the show with smiles painted on their face, smiles so deceiving that they almost seem genuine. But how can you genuinely smile after you've just spent the last 30 minutes recounting the worst headlines of the day?
I cannot imagine what it is like to sit there and watch the news without the hope of a future redemption. The truth is that I do not know the meaning of hopeless. After watching the news, that is one thing I can be thankful for.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
*Note that the Biblical meaning of the word hope is not the same as the meaning we ascribe to it today. Check this out--> What is Hope?
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