God Brought Me Back to Life

What a journey these past two weeks have been! For the most part, I have been optimistic in God's ability and will to have me as an RUF Intern at Kennesaw State University. However, I must confess that earlier today, I was tempted to despair.

I am beginning to feel as if I have exhausted my contacts for support. I found myself sitting at home without a plan to move forward. I asked myself if the optimism I had been feeling before was truly faith or was it me deliberately ignoring God's "No." I wanted nothing more than to lie around and sulk. Uncertainty is not a pleasant feeling, but sometimes it's all we have as we wait for God work (and He is ALWAYS at work). I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I wanted to pout and throw a tantrum, but I didn't. In the past, I have entertained such moods and feelings.

Instead, I picked up my Bible and started reading 1 Peter. Instead of sitting around and asking God "Why?" or "What do I do?," I read His very Word. Granted, I didn't do this enthusiastically, but, still, He led me to read. His Word is always at my fingertips, yet I tend to treat it like any other book. This is His answer to our prayers. This is Him showing His love for us. This is Him breathing life into our hearts.

I know His Word transforms us, but I always thought of it soley as a slow, life-long process (which it is). But today, I felt it instantaneously. Satan tempted me to despair, but God brought me back to life.

After reading, I began doing and crossing things off my to-do list. I came back to my computer with some positive news in the support-raising realm. He continues to raise people up to support me as an intern. Though some would say the donations are small, they certainly add up and I am so thankful for them. He has not called me to quit. He has not given me a "No."

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'"
-Jeremiah 29:11-13

Amen!