I Can See Clearly Now...

...the rain is gone.

I used to pride myself on my 20/20 vision. Thus, the opposite was inevitable. As of yesterday, I have joined the glasses-wearing crowd. The eye doctor says I don't have to wear them all the time, just when I am reading or on the computer or driving at night. So, I'll pretty much be wearing them all the time.

When I first tried them on at the doctor's office, it felt like I was in one of those fun houses with all the mirrors. Everything was distorted by my standards. I didn't even want to drive with them because that was just asking for trouble.

I wore them for a few hours when I got home. I find the term "four eyes" very appropriate. I was so confused as to what I was seeing that it felt like I had four eyes, each looking in different directions. It's day one of wearing corrective lenses, so I know it will take time. After my eyes focus, I can see pretty clearly. Everything is a lot sharper. I never even knew what I was missing.

What a blessing it is to be able to "fix" our sight! God has given me so much to be thankful for.

Exposed

I woke up and began my daily routine which includes a cup of espresso and milk and walking Dominoe. For some reason unknown to me, I took an interest in cleaning my bathroom before getting my coffee. As I made my way through the morning, I got THE CALL from RUF.

I hung up the phone, sat on my couch, and buried my face in the pillow as tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't crying because I got the job, which I was thrilled about. I was crying because in this month of waiting, I hadn't realized how my heart had started to harden. Everyday, I waited to get a call telling me I wasn't going to be an intern this year. I began questioning what God was calling me to do in Kennesaw.

In one fatal blow, God put my doubts and indifference to rest. I cannot express how freeing it is to know that the Holy Spirit is working in my heart, battling the idols I build up for myself. I am His and I am thankful that He is so jealous that He wants me all to Himself! I don't want to belong to anyone or anything else.

Thank you all for the love you've shown me these past few months! Every e-mail, letter, and phone call has been an encouragement to trust in God's provisions. I couldn't have done it without you. Our journey at KSU is just beginning and I am more than excited to share in this ministry with you.

RUF large group will meet for the third time tonight, but it will be my first time. Please, pray for that the students will come with open minds and hearts and that God will use Chris Bowen's message to reach out to them. Pray, also, that I seek only to glorify God and point students to Jesus as I meet and get to know them this year. And, of course, send up a prayer or thanks and praise for His provisions in getting me on campus.

From Oranges to Peaches

I sat on the lawn singing out loud to some familiar tunes that blasted over the loudspeakers on either side of me. Some other people around me were singing too, while others were immersed in the moment of being with their friends or families, oblivious to the music. I sat on the lawn of Stone Mountain Park for an hour and a half waiting for the Saturday night laser light show to begin. The stone mountain was a sight in itself, bearing a carving of three confederate generals on horses. In my peripheral vision, I could see the sky lift, wishing I was riding it to the top of the mountain instead of sitting uncomfortably in the midst of hundreds of people I didn't know. The show, complete with fireworks, was worth the wait. I'll want to go back.

Just hours before claiming my spot on the lawn, I had been walking around the exhibits of the 40th Annual Yellow Daisy Festival in another part of the park. There was so many tents, each manned by an artist of some sort trying to sell their creative works. I saw everything from music to paintings and furniture to antique spoon jewelry. Anyone who saw me walking around might have thought that I was uninterested in the exhibits because I rarely stopped to actually appreciate it. But that wasn't the case. In fact, the creativity that surrounded me stirred up a desire to go to Michael's arts and craft store and buy all the tools my inner artist wanted so that she might express herself. Hmm...

As I experience the sights and events Georgia has to offer, I am beginning to feel less and less like a foreigner. I got my Georgia driver's license a couple weeks ago and I registered my vehicle today after a series of mini dilemmas. I'm officially a Georgian. Is that what we are called?

Dominoe sat in the trunk as I sat on the road to replace my license plate.


I may have a Georgia tag, but I will always represent my Florida Gators!!

I know my sticker is on backwards.

Lost In Thought...Completely Lost

I've had quite a bit of "spare time" if you can even call it that. It feels more like I have some "spare work" in the midst of my free time. Regardless of what you or I may call it, I am slightly sickened by it and I know exactly why. There are two reasons "why," but only one matters.

Reason 1: I have been left to entertain thoughts, too many thoughts. Have you ever had the experience when you are trying in vain to fall asleep, but you have hundreds of different thoughts wandering through your mind like fruit flies looking for some vinegary solution in an empty kitchen. That has been my experience the days when I have no errands to run. Even as I try to read the books for my intern study program, my mind cannot focus. I've kept myself cooped up in this apartment for too long.

So, this past Friday I broke out of what seems to be a self-imposed jail and visited Marietta Square. To start, I took a wrong turn and ended up far from my destination. I used to pride myself on my directional talents. I still want to. That's why I didn't print out the directions. Now is not quite the time for me to express just how Georgia has messed with my inborn GPS.

The Square was so lovely. Artsy, antique-y, old-school buildings and shoppes. In keeping with the old town theme, the shops were all closed by six, which is just about the time I shifted into "PARK." Heh. So, I strolled and looked around. I wanted to just sit in a coffee shop, but I was too cheap to want to buy coffee. I chickened out and just walked on by, got in my car, and drove home. I did not pass "Go" and I did not collect $200.

Reason 2: Here is what really matters. I see this abundance of free time as a waste. I have only ever felt productive when I'm crossing items off a to-do list that exceeds the physical limits of what a person can do in a day. I've always known I defined myself and my days by my productivity. Sure, being productive can be glorifying to God, but that is not the only thing He calls us to be. Resting on Sundays can be just as glorifying.

I've been living in Sunday seven days a week. I feel lazy and I don't like lazy. I feel guilty when I spend everyday watching movies, driving through town without a destination, doing handstands against my apartment walls, falling asleep while reading, checking my e-mail every five minutes, walking around Marietta Square, eating everything in sight, and playing with my dog. So many people desire this free time. I am not saying that all of these things are okay to do all the time. I suppose I don't really know what I am saying. I'm just struggling with understanding what I should be doing instead.

The problem is that I am defining everything by my thoughts and feelings. The problem is that I'm making it all about me when it has nothing to do with me. What is God doing with me at this moment? How might I glorify Him in this blessing of time? I'll be looking for local volunteer opportunities, but, until then, I must learn patience.

RUF Internship Update

Well, friends, I finally had a talk with my supervisor at RUF. He's given me an absolute deadline to raise the money for my internship. I have the rest of this week and next week to raise the rest of the funds necessary to employ me. I thank God that He has already blessed me with a little over $15,500 through the generosity of family, friends, and even a few complete strangers!Gracious! That's a lot of money already! Unfortunately, it is not enough to get me on campus and serving students.

In order to start meeting students and forming relationships, I need to raise 75% of the total $30,000, which comes to $23,000. Basically, I have less than two weeks to have $7,500 pledged in my name.

It's difficult to see all those dollar signs and not get discouraged. Even harder yet, is being in Kennesaw and not being able to start meeting the students who started classes this past Friday. The first RUF large group meeting is next Tuesday and I really want to be there. But I have to stop and see the bigger picture. I can't get discouraged because it is not over. My God is a big God and He is bigger than a few thousand dollars.

I ask you to pray:

• for the campus ministry at KSU, the campus minister, and the students
• that the Holy Spirit will work to raise the $7,500 necessary to do ministry with RUF
• that I will be bold in asking people and do it all for the glory of God

Thank you all so much! I'll be in touch with you soon.

Do you want to Give toward Christina's RUF Funds? Click the link below to find out how.
http://dominoesmom.blogspot.com/2008/05/interested-in-supporting-me-at-ksu.html

There's Coffee in Georgia

Did you know that Coffee is in Georgia. No, I'm not talking about the drink. I am talking about the county! Sounds like my kind of place. And what's up with every street name having "peachtree" in it. I still have yet to see one actual peachtree. (Though I wouldn't know what a peachtree without peaches looks like.)

Georgia is certainly different from Florida. With cities like Rome, Athens, Dallas, Nashville, and Gainesville, Georgia is made up of familiar names and unfamiliar places. Aren't there enough creative minds out there to come up with unique city names? I have known that Gainesville is not a city name unique to Gator Country, but it's still weird to drive through Georgia and see signs for Gainesville.

Even weirder yet, is writing the letters "GA" next to the space marked "State." I've moved around enough times in my lifetime that a new street address is not all that out of the ordinary. However, the first few times I wrote my new address I had to pause when I got to the state. Other than having spent many childhood summer vacations in Haiti with my grandparents and extended family, the only places I have been able to call home are Miami and Gainesville. (We'll ignore the fact that there's a Miami, Ohio.)

I like my new state. It's temperate. It's scenic. It's diverse. It's not far from Florida. I could see myself living here for a while, but who knows where the Lord will lead me in years to come? I've only been here for a bit, 14 days to be exact. I've only had a taste of what the peach state has to offer, but based on this taste, I'd order it "for here," not "to go."

God Brought Me Back to Life

What a journey these past two weeks have been! For the most part, I have been optimistic in God's ability and will to have me as an RUF Intern at Kennesaw State University. However, I must confess that earlier today, I was tempted to despair.

I am beginning to feel as if I have exhausted my contacts for support. I found myself sitting at home without a plan to move forward. I asked myself if the optimism I had been feeling before was truly faith or was it me deliberately ignoring God's "No." I wanted nothing more than to lie around and sulk. Uncertainty is not a pleasant feeling, but sometimes it's all we have as we wait for God work (and He is ALWAYS at work). I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I wanted to pout and throw a tantrum, but I didn't. In the past, I have entertained such moods and feelings.

Instead, I picked up my Bible and started reading 1 Peter. Instead of sitting around and asking God "Why?" or "What do I do?," I read His very Word. Granted, I didn't do this enthusiastically, but, still, He led me to read. His Word is always at my fingertips, yet I tend to treat it like any other book. This is His answer to our prayers. This is Him showing His love for us. This is Him breathing life into our hearts.

I know His Word transforms us, but I always thought of it soley as a slow, life-long process (which it is). But today, I felt it instantaneously. Satan tempted me to despair, but God brought me back to life.

After reading, I began doing and crossing things off my to-do list. I came back to my computer with some positive news in the support-raising realm. He continues to raise people up to support me as an intern. Though some would say the donations are small, they certainly add up and I am so thankful for them. He has not called me to quit. He has not given me a "No."

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'"
-Jeremiah 29:11-13

Amen!

The Newness of Life

I am currently sitting in my new room in my new apartment in a new city in a new state. I still can't believe I am a resident of Kennesaw, Georgia. It all seems so surreal. It all happened so fast. Still, I have this sense of peace about it all. I haven't had any second thoughts about my decision to move here.

The town is so beautiful. On Saturday, I saw what I believe to be Kennesaw Mountain. Oh how I love mountains! What an amazing reminder of how great our Creator is! I think I could have just sat parked on Cobb Parkway and stared out for hours. I can't wait to get up close and personal.

Unfortunately, the mountains will have to wait. Now, that I have made the move from Florida to Georgia, I must refocus my efforts to raising support for my RUF Internship at Kennesaw State University. Even though, I have not been actively fundraising this past week, God has been working in people's hearts to give. He has raised nearly half of the money I need. Oh, He is so so good to me!

I am trying not to discern His plan from recent events because anything can happen. I am not giving up. Seriously, my heart beats significantly faster when I start to think of my possible future job as an RUF intern because I am so excited to serve Him through this ministry. I pray that this is His plan for my life and I am trusting in His provisions, whatever they may be.

This part of my life's journey has been so amazing. The Holy Spirit has been working in my heart in ways I could have never predicted. Everyday, I am a different person than the day before. The newness of life in Christ grows deeper each day as I begin to understand what it's like to truly Live. I simply cannot wait to continue this journey!

Thank you all so much for your prayers! I know He hears them.